This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
