I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
