..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
either way he was missing a nipple.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
