Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
