You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
