She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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