Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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