I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
