I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
ok first of all what the fuck
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
