Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I bet he comes in French.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
