Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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