Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
