He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i've created a new STD.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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