He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
