i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
