I am spending my child support on dildos
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
