I love having hate sex.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
