HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
