Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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