Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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