Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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