Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
