I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize