My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
