I think I am morally bankrupt
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize