I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
