Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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