I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
