Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
