wakey wakey hands off snakey
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
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