do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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