His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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