he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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