I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
