I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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