and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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