Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
