I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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