So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize