Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize