Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
