I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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