I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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