So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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