He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
