well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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