He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there was a trapeze. enough said
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
