I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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