dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I am one with the molecules
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
