trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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