her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
they're like a gay fantastic four
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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