She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
