It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
