i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
