im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
