Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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