so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
