so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
