How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
