i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
