dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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