Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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