Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
