i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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