I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
