for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk is a universal language darling
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
