I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
