I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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