he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
