Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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